Darren Tagliarini BCBA

Every  year discussions take place between parents and teachers about their children’s grades and either sides perceptions of a child’s low or damaged self esteem. Parents and teachers naturally want their child to succeed in school and may feel their child’s performance somehow reflects on them as parents and/or educators. Poor grades can trigger disappointment and frustration, good grades can lead parents to exert pressure to do even better or even ignore the grades they received as an accomplishment. Here are
some suggestions to handle grades while keeping a child’s self- esteem strong:

• Emphasize and praise even small successes
  and most importantly their EFFORTS
• Absolutely avoid ridicule, sarcasm or comparison to another sibling or their peers   grades or performance
• Encourage- don’t lecture
• Set realistic obtainable goals that you and
  your child can work on in their problem area
• Take time to listen to your child’s
  explanation of his or her grade performance
• Remember – poor grades do not reflect your
  child’s worth
• Identify other valuable experiences the
  child might have besides school and grades

A child’s self-esteem at the elementary school age is at an
important stage of human development. Our primary focus as educators and parents is to foster these feelings of worth and pride through the child’s effort, not just their successes. Feelings of responsibility and
importance foster a child’s self- esteem and help a child to feel their best
for school and at home.